I think I'm about to go off
Max Weinberg kicks the show off
Wit, charm and a devious smile
We're gonna be here for a while tonight

He is the only guy we turn to
For our celebrity interviews
Red hair that's never going anywhere
All I can do is sit and stare
Don't bother me cause I don't care tonight

Oh, Conan can't you see
You're the one for me?
Conan, don't you know
You're my late night TV hero?

I wish and hope and pray he might
Let me be a guest on the show tonight
Talking about anything and everything
Oh, golly how I want to be
A part of his hilarity tonight

And I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But you're the only show that still redeems your network

Oh, Conan can't you see
We were meant to be?
Conan, don't you know
You will always be my hero?